I actually had another topic selected for my first post but this one is more important for me to get off my chest. For instance, today is my daughter's 18th birthday. Instead, I'm posting about the most life-altering event I've ever experienced.
I had a single-vehicle accident on Dec 14, 2008, around 4:30 PM. The car rolled over sideways once and was totaled. My life changed on that day and I didn't even get a scratch. It took nearly a week for the smallest of bruises to appear on my right elbow where I hit the shifter.
You may be able to tell from the picture that the roof and windshield pillar is almost in a straight line. In a Miata, the windshield frame is the only thing holding it up in a rollover. I also had the optional hardtop which adds a bit more rigidity to the car but not enough to support the car. Luckily, I had installed a rollbar shortly after purchasing this car for a bit more peace of mind. I'd never rolled a car before but that's no reason not to guard against it.
It wasn't really the accident that changed my life. I've been involved in a few in my 30-year driving history. It was the fact that my wife of 22.73 years was in the car with me and she was seriously injured. While the signs of her injuries are all visible on the outside, mine are carried on the inside. I was driving a car when someone else, a person I care for greatly, was nearly killed or paralyzed for life. Even though I know it was an accident and she forgives me, it does weigh heavily on my mental state. How do you go about forgiving yourself? How long does it take to get over these feelings?
Twelve days later it still hurts me inside as much or more as it did when we found out just how bad she was hurt. I felt terrible just knowing she had a gash in her scalp. As it turned out she was hurt very bad. She has a type III odontoid C2 fracture. In layman's terms, she broke her neck. The force of the rollover compressed her head into her spine with enough force to shatter the vertebrae. Luckily she has no deficit, which means she can still move all her fingers and toes. If it had been a complete break, she'd be like Christopher Reeves, a quadriplegic without the ability to breathe unassisted.
As it is, she is trapped inside the living hell of having four titanium spikes screwed through her skin and into her skull, anchored to a halo ring around her head and attached to a heavy plastic vest that she cannot take off for at least three months. It is all my fault. It should have been me in the most pain and made to suffer. I know I can't change places with her but it should have been me to take the blow.
That was twelve days ago and I still can't shake the horror that races through my mind of how it could have been worse.
I had a single-vehicle accident on Dec 14, 2008, around 4:30 PM. The car rolled over sideways once and was totaled. My life changed on that day and I didn't even get a scratch. It took nearly a week for the smallest of bruises to appear on my right elbow where I hit the shifter.
You may be able to tell from the picture that the roof and windshield pillar is almost in a straight line. In a Miata, the windshield frame is the only thing holding it up in a rollover. I also had the optional hardtop which adds a bit more rigidity to the car but not enough to support the car. Luckily, I had installed a rollbar shortly after purchasing this car for a bit more peace of mind. I'd never rolled a car before but that's no reason not to guard against it.
It wasn't really the accident that changed my life. I've been involved in a few in my 30-year driving history. It was the fact that my wife of 22.73 years was in the car with me and she was seriously injured. While the signs of her injuries are all visible on the outside, mine are carried on the inside. I was driving a car when someone else, a person I care for greatly, was nearly killed or paralyzed for life. Even though I know it was an accident and she forgives me, it does weigh heavily on my mental state. How do you go about forgiving yourself? How long does it take to get over these feelings?Twelve days later it still hurts me inside as much or more as it did when we found out just how bad she was hurt. I felt terrible just knowing she had a gash in her scalp. As it turned out she was hurt very bad. She has a type III odontoid C2 fracture. In layman's terms, she broke her neck. The force of the rollover compressed her head into her spine with enough force to shatter the vertebrae. Luckily she has no deficit, which means she can still move all her fingers and toes. If it had been a complete break, she'd be like Christopher Reeves, a quadriplegic without the ability to breathe unassisted.
As it is, she is trapped inside the living hell of having four titanium spikes screwed through her skin and into her skull, anchored to a halo ring around her head and attached to a heavy plastic vest that she cannot take off for at least three months. It is all my fault. It should have been me in the most pain and made to suffer. I know I can't change places with her but it should have been me to take the blow.
That was twelve days ago and I still can't shake the horror that races through my mind of how it could have been worse.
I'm sorry to hear about your crash and Jan's injuries, but I'm really glad I went into computers instead of some sort of medical profession. I sure wouldn't want to have to bump heads with you!
ReplyDeleteI understood your description of how the wreck happened all too clearly. Mine happened about 30 years ago, at about 1am, on a stretch of twisty road somewhere between Tompkinsville and Glasgow (see item #2). Despite my being on the side that got crushed on the way down a 15-foot embankment, all I got was a cut on my elbow.
I must've had an angel on my shoulder that night. Our prayers are with you guys.